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CREATION IN DOS MODE
This is what might have happened if God had used a computer for the Creation...
CREATION.EXE
In the beginning was the computer. And God said:
c:\>Let there be light!
Enter user id.
c:\>God
Enter password.
c:\>Omniscient
Password incorrect. Please try again.
c:\>Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Please try again.
c:\>Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
c:\>Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Please try again.
c:\>Create light
Done
c:\>Run Heaven and Earth
And God created Day and Night.And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Please try again.
c:\>Create firmament
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God created the firmament; and God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
c:\>Let the waters under Heaven be gathered unto one place
and let the dry land appear and
Too many characters in specification string. Please try again.
c:\>Create dry_land
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Please try again.
c:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
c:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God divided the day from the night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
c:\>Create fish
Done
c:\>Create fowl
Done
c:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
c:\>Create cattle
Done
c:\>Create creepy_things
Done
c:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Please try again.
c:\>Create man
Done
c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
over every living thing that creepeth upon the Earth
Too many command operands. Please try again.
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
c:\>Insert breath
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
c:\>Create Gardn.edn
Done
c:\>Move man to Gardn.edn
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
c:\>Copy woman from man
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
c:\>Create desire
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create freewill
Done
c:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
c:\>Delete freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Gardn.edn...
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create good, evil
Preparing to install Satan.exe.
Warning: This type of file may harm your computer.
Do you wish to proceed?
c:\> OK
Done
c:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Gardn.edn. 1
errors.
c:\>Scan Gardn.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
c:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
c:\>Delete freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Please try again
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS:*** COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR COMPULSORY DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
c:\>Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must delete old files
before new ones can be created.
c:\>Delete Earth
Delete Earth: please confirm
c:\>OK
Done
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN FOR COMPULSORY DAY OF REST,
SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
6:00 AM. YOU MUST LOG OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6....
This is what might have happened if God had used a computer for the Creation...
CREATION.EXE
In the beginning was the computer. And God said:
c:\>Let there be light!
Enter user id.
c:\>God
Enter password.
c:\>Omniscient
Password incorrect. Please try again.
c:\>Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Please try again.
c:\>Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
c:\>Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Please try again.
c:\>Create light
Done
c:\>Run Heaven and Earth
And God created Day and Night.And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Please try again.
c:\>Create firmament
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God created the firmament; and God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
c:\>Let the waters under Heaven be gathered unto one place
and let the dry land appear and
Too many characters in specification string. Please try again.
c:\>Create dry_land
Done.
c:\>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Please try again.
c:\>Create sun_moon_stars
Done
c:\>Run sun_moon_stars
And God divided the day from the night. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
c:\>Create fish
Done
c:\>Create fowl
Done
c:\>Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
c:\>Create cattle
Done
c:\>Create creepy_things
Done
c:\>Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Please try again.
c:\>Create man
Done
c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and
over every living thing that creepeth upon the Earth
Too many command operands. Please try again.
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
c:\>Insert breath
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
c:\>Create Gardn.edn
Done
c:\>Move man to Gardn.edn
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
c:\>Copy woman from man
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
c:\>Create desire
Done
c:\>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create freewill
Done
c:\>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Gardn.edn...
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
c:\>Delete freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in
Gardn.edn...
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
c:\>Create good, evil
Preparing to install Satan.exe.
Warning: This type of file may harm your computer.
Do you wish to proceed?
c:\> OK
Done
c:\>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Gardn.edn. 1
errors.
c:\>Scan Gardn.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
c:\>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
c:\>Delete freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be deleted
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
c:\>Stop
Unrecognizable command. Please try again
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
c:\>Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS:*** COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR COMPULSORY DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
c:\>Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must delete old files
before new ones can be created.
c:\>Delete Earth
Delete Earth: please confirm
c:\>OK
Done
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN FOR COMPULSORY DAY OF REST,
SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
6:00 AM. YOU MUST LOG OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6....