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Alastair has encouraged me to explore the many nooks and crannies of Electric Scotland on more than one occasion. This morning I found the page Ranald's Collection of Sayings and Versus which turned out to be quite a gem. The page can be found here: http://www.electricscotland.com/friends/ranald/
Here is a sample of what I found...
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
I go out to the taxi, while my husband went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with my husband in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, I don't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. I explain to the taxi driver that he will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
A few minutes later, he gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' he said, as we drove away. 'That stupid b.... was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a.. downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'
The cab driver nearly hit a parked car.
Ranald, this is some great material.
Here is a sample of what I found...
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.
The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
I go out to the taxi, while my husband went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with my husband in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, I don't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. I explain to the taxi driver that he will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
A few minutes later, he gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' he said, as we drove away. 'That stupid b.... was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a.. downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'
The cab driver nearly hit a parked car.
Ranald, this is some great material.
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